I've Been Thinking...

Yeah sometime it happens... the thinking that is, and lately it's been making my head hurt... or that could be because I'm still waiting on my new glasses to take away the fuzziness.

I've actually been thinking about music and people with beautiful voices. It could be because we lost Chester Bennington so recently, and I absolutely loved him as an artist... and David Bowie earlier in the year who was my all time fave singer. It got me thinking about other voices of people still alive who I love listening to.  So I thought I'd give you a list of  some of my favourite singers/bands and four songs from each for you all to check out.

Boy George

If I Could Fly

Il Adore

Same Thing In Reverse

Unfinished Business

Black Veil Brides

Days Are numbered

I Am Bulletproof

Nobody's Hero

Rebel Love Song

Bullet For My Valentine

All These things I Hate (Revolve Around Me)

Scream Aim Fire

Waking The Demon

Your Betrayal

Chris Daughtry

Battleships

Over You

No Surprise

Waiting For Superman

Falling in Reverse

Alone

Bad Girls Club

I'm Not A Vampire

The Drug In Me Is You

Goo Goo Dolls
Am I Gone
Impersonality
Long Way Down
Slide

Good Charlotte

Last Night

Little things

The River

Where Would We Be Now

Hinder

Better Than Me

Bliss

Lips Of An Angel

Without You

Hoobastank

Born To Lead

Good Enough

Inside Of You

The Reason

Nickelback

Don't Ever Let It End

I'd Come For You

Lullaby

Never Again

Paolo Nutini

Autumn Leaves

Last Request

Rewind

These Streets

Rev Theory

 Broken Bones

Favourite Disease

Hell Yeah

Justice

Seether

Breakdown

Broken

Rise Above This

Remedy

Shinedown

Second Chance

Simple Man

Sounds Of Madness

The Crow & The Butterfly

Sick Puppies

Gunfight

Master Of The Universe

So What I Lied

The Bottom

Sleeping With Sirens

Better Off Dead

Congratulations

If I'm James Dean, Then You're Audrey Hepburn

Roger Rabbit

The Pretty Reckless

House On A Hill

Make Wanna Die

Miss Nothing

You

Theory Of A Dead Man

All Or Nothing

Bad Girlfriend

By The Way

Not Meant To be

R.I.P. Chester

Such Sadness.

Gone too soon.

Here are 4 

of my favourites.

What's The Goss?

Well yesterday I went and had my eyes tested, and my new glasses should arrive in about a week to ten days. I can't wait for them to get here so I can get back into my writing. I find it hard to write with everything being a tad on the fuzzy side.

I woke up with a bit of a headache this morning... it could be because I had a crap night's sleep. I just couldn't seem to get comfortable. Too much shit running around inside my brain.

I'm making chicken cacciatore for dinner and it smells wonderful... only the pasta left to cook. It's going to be so yummy. and if we're lucky there will be leftovers for tomorrow night.

The garden is looking pretty good this morning, and I'm happy to report I didn't give myself concussion again while trying to turn on the the damn tap. I can't wait for the damn thing to be moved to an easier spot for me.

I've been watching that Medium show on TV with Tyler Henry... Not sure if I believe in all that, but I do love watching this show. He's such a sweetie. I like listening to him. if it is real I like the way he gets it so right. the way he gets all pale and breaks out in a sweat... okay now I just seem weird, but it makes for good fodder for my writing brain. I would love to be able to write a character like him. Well, not exactly like him, but someone with psychic ability. though my character might not know that he has said ability, and might think he's a tad crazy... At least it's something to think about.

It's windy here today. I'm glad that I don't have to go lout anywhere and can spend the day inside. So I'm here on the computer. Talking to you, and chatting with Bronwyn H... she's actually helping me sort out some stuff with my YA series that I'm planning on writing.

Quick question: Why do I need a different pen name for my adult and my YA writing?

My Morning & Updates

I spent the morning planting geraniums in my little garden area. The cats don't usually use that much of the lawn they prefer to lie in and among the plants anyway. Next on my agenda is to propagate some of my jade plant to grow along my fence line... and trying to get my wild grasses healthy again. I may have over chook-pooped them.

Good news on my health, the doctors have decided to cut back on my thyroid dosage for awhile. I'm okay with that... I have to have another blood test in 6 weeks to see how everything is going. Mind you I have to do more exercise... yay me.

I heard back about my young adult stories and I think I'm going to give it a crack, but first I have to finish up a couple of other stories. It will give me a bit more time to mull the story line. and think of a better series title. I'm thinking probable whatever I name the school. Any suggestions would be great... now the school has shifters, fey, and vampires in attendance... not sure on humans at this stage.

Other than that life is all going hunky-dory the family and pets are all doing well. I can't believe I've been in this place 7 months and I'm still moving things around to make it easier. I'm still getting rid of things━unnecessary things... I trying to make life minimalistic as possible. Less is better... If I haven't used it in 6 months then I obviously don't need it. 

I Have A Headache...

I have a headache... I think part of it is partly because of the concussion I gave myself a couple of days ago... But part of it is I'm due for new glasses and my eyes keep popping in and out of focus. It's driving me nuts, but I have an eye test this Wednesday.

Other than that I've been working on one of my young adult series: Preternatural High (series name may change if I can think of a better one). I've sent it off to one of my editors for a look see to see if the whole thing makes sense... or whether it should go back into the back-burner books for awhile.

I will keep you all updated as I hear more. I've never written anything like it before. I just really want to give it a try... well, at least I think I do. You know I will talk more about it as time goes by. Okay, I'll give you another update when I hear back about my idea.

Just When...

Just when... I get back into the writing swing my real life decides to get in the road... mainly my next two weeks are filled up with family errands (Dr appointments, 2 eye tests, Emily's car has three different services to be done, and I have my Kitchen hutch turning up on the last day) so it extends the finish of The Lines of Marsden 4: The Trail Of Red Roses by two weeks.... Sorry 2 weeks.

I also gave my bird Hector away to a very nice family, who will give her a lot more attention then I was able to give her. Honestly to me she was just a chore, but this family just lost their bird and where going to get another one so it seemed like the right decision for me. I think Hector will be happier, because she will get a lot more attention then she ever got at my house... I should say that I inherited Hector who at the time we thought was a boy and later found out was female. I never bonded with the bird because she bites even after 5 years she attacked me every time I went near the cage. Weirdly when the guy caught her for transport she never even bit him... Must have been just me. Hector was a peach face... a very beautiful bird. It's very quiet without out her on the front veranda, but in saying that my front veranda now looks huge without the cage taking up space.

I had a very early wake up call this morning. Willow thought it would be a great idea to jump up on my bed, crawl under my blankets and up-chuck a fur-ball down near my feet... mind you it was more spit than anything else... but still means I have to wash my sheets━thanks Willow.

I have a Dr appointment this morning to find out the results of my blood tests... So you don't take your medication for 6 months and everyone gets cranky at you because your body decides to shut down... Lesson learned... don't quit taking your medicine no matter how stressful and busy life gets, it's so not worth the hassle of trying to get everything back on track again.

This morning is the first time that I've felt the cold. My fingers are cold. The rest of me not so much, but my fingers are freezing. Even the cats are sticking close to catch as much body heat as they can. I might even have to to have a hot Milo this morning just to warm up. Actually a hot Milo sounds good so I'm outa here... I'll catch you all tomorrow, or in a couple of days.

JUST SUBBED

Moon Runners 2

I Won't Let You Go

Randomness...

I didn't realise how hard it was going to be to go back through a book and add people's points of view... but it truly is... So the first six chapters of The Lines of Marsden 4: The Trail of Red Roses is very busy, but after that it will slow down and be more of the real main characters... if that makes sense.

I have been busy around the house and I finally feel like I have everything under control. I paid off the last of my debts last week (credit card)... so that is a huge relief off of my shoulders. I still have a little bit to do around the house, but now I'm not worried that I'm going to get into trouble because I can't pay for things... I love being debt free because now I can actually start saving money for a rainy day (or the next time the cats need to go to the vet).

Speaking of cats→ Droogie news: He is walking a lot better than he has been and now only has a slight limp. I'm still keeping an eye on him. at least his appetite has picked up again.

I'm still waiting for my beta reader to get back to me with Moon Runners 2: I Won't Let You Go... so as yet it still has't been subbed. It shouldn't be too much longer. I will keep you updated as things go along.

Stuff...

So this is is what's been going on inside my head for the last couple of days... well, actually, there hasn't been a great deal going on to tell the truth.

1→ I've been looking after Droogie (my male cat) who is feeling better, but still not 100%... I hope he picks up soon. mind you he is 16.5 years old so he's getting up there in age.

2→ I have to stop Willow (my female cat) from thinking that every time I set my cup of tea down that it gives her free rein to drink it while I'm distracted.

3→ I've been going back through the start of book 4 in The Lines of Marsden: The Trail of Red Roses and adding in perspective from one of the main characters as I realised I left him out of the first six chapters... Yes, and don't I just feel like a drongo.

4→ Emily's eye specialist appointment went well... no change from the last time we were there so all is good on that front. At least it was a quick visit this time, and all the staff working there were really lovely.

5→ We got a lovely bit of rain last night. it would have made for a great backdrop for sleeping if the damn cats hadn't have been restless and wanted to go in and out of the house so much. I will be glad when it's warm enough for them to spend the whole evening out on the front veranda. they keep me awake all bloody night scratching at the door. Oh to have the life of a cat... they sleep all day and play all freaking night long.

Update Time...

I finally finished re reading The Lines of Marsden, and I can tell you that the 30K of book 4: The Trail of Red Roses will need some re writes... sad but true... because I have no clue where I was headed with the damn thing... but after re reading the whole series I think I'm back on track. But you never know what will happen once I stop writing again. Let's just hope that I stay on the right path and get the damn story finished.

I've also been busy around the house just trying to get things in order. There's not actually much to do here now. It's hard to believe, but I've been living in this place for nearly 7 months. Where has the time gone? I can't believe how fast this year has flown by.

My car went in for a service last Monday and cost me nearly $800, mainly because I needed new break pads as well as my main service... I can't believe how well it drives now. I didn't think it was driving bad before, but I can sure tell the difference since I've had the service.

I've not been feeling 100% over the last couple of days. Nothing to serious I think. I hope it's just a bug of some sort. I go back to the doctor for a checkup on the 10th of July... If I'm still feeling off I'll let the doctor know and he can do some tests. It's more that I have the feeling of an upset tummy, but I don't want to throw up━if that makes sense.

I've had a few new story ideas pop into my head over the last few days. I'm trying to see if I can work them into existing series, or if I need to write completely new stories. I hope not. As I'd really like to finish up some of my existing series for you, my readers. I will have to think on it for a bit longer, but I promise when I know... you'll all know, because basically I'll probably need to talk it all out with everyone to see if it makes sense.

The Lines Of Marsden

It's been awhile since I've last been on. Time just seems to have flown by and I've got absolutely nothing done. Aside from dealing with everyday life I've been re reading The Lines of Marsden series to see if I can figure out where the hell I was going with book 4: The Trail of Red Roses, and  4.5: On the 12th Day (which may have a title change) because right now the story just isn't making sense to me.

I must admit that I hate re reading my own work as I see all small mistakes that I would like to go back and change... but then I think if I'm forever going back and fixing old books up then I'll never get new work out for my readers. So for now I'll just leave it sit.

hopefully by doing the re read I'll be able to answer anything that I left open in other books. I hate it when I do that. though most times I don't even realise that I'm doing it.

In book 4 and 4.5 I'm moving away from the main characters of the last three books and giving the readers more of and insight into other secondary characters that I find just as interesting, and I hope that the readers will as well. I mean Michael and Doyle will always be in the continuing story line, and will play big parts, but the sole focus of these stories won't be on them... if that makes sense.

I'm honestly hoping that I can bring the story back around to the path where it's meant to be on. I only have basically books 4, 5, and 6 to end the first line and have it all make sense. I want to be able to go into the second line without leaving questions about the first line. I don't mind if the characters from the first line make a reappearance in the second line, but I don't want them to be the main feature of any given story.

So book 4 is mainly going to be about Christian and Benj... also about Maffa and someone (no clue who yet) 4.5 is a novella about (Asher) I think I might set it around Christmas. Well, it will be if everything in book 4 goes to plan... knowing me it'll all go way of track halfway through the damn story. I guess I'll have to keep you updated.

THE END!

THE END

Moon Runners 2

I Won't Let You Go

 Is with James A

Almost Done & Other News

1→ As of this morning I only have 3,462 words left until I reach my 40K mark on Moon Runners 2: I Won't Let You Go... So I hope to get it finished today.

2→ Droogie's next vet appointment has been postponed from today until tomorrow as they have an emergency surgery or something to do. I don't mind. It's all drizzly here today so I don't feel like going out any way.

3→ I finally bought the shelves for my kitchen. and set them up so I could get rid of the clutter that was annoying the crap out of me. Emily has decided that she wants to buy some now and use them as her pantry as she doesn't have one in her unit.

4→ Nickelback has a new CD coming out this Friday━Feed The Machine, so I'm all kinds of excited. I know not everyone is a Nickelback fan but I am...

5→ Today I also have to fit in cleaning out the top of the pantry as it seems to be the one shelf that I just put stuff and because I can't really see what's up here I have a whole lot of crap that needs to either be rehoused or be sent to the op-shop for other people to buy and use because I'm obviously not using it.

Today I Am

Today I am being an author for Fireborn Publishing... or at least I am trying to be. I have pulled out Moon Runners 2: I Won't Let You Go, and I'm reading through the last few chapters to see where I was heading━seeing as I only have approximately only have 7,871 words to finish this off. i figured I better get it done.

I pulled apart some of the story (approximately 5k) for it to make more sense to me. I should stop doing this. I think that's what keeps delaying the finishing date. I'm really bad at this lately.

I hope to have it finished by the end of this week. I do have a couple of vet (Tuesday) & eye specialist appointments (Friday)━not for me, but for Droogie and Emily seeing as neither will be able to drive themselves...LOL... Mind you, I'm hoping to get most of it done tomorrow, which is Monday for me. I'm sure I'll let you all know how I'm going as the wee progresses. feel free to keep me on track.

One Of Those Days

I'm having one of those days where I have the feeling that I've forgotten to do something really important, and for the life of me I can't figure out what the hell it is... It's like I have this big cloak of dread hanging over my shoulders.

1→ I know all my bills are paid as up to date as they can be... so it isn't that. 

2→ The housework is all done for the day... so it definitely isn't that, and I don't need to go out for any groceries.

3→ I've checked my appointment diary and I know that I'm not due anywhere important... like at the doctors, and/or vets... and I even checked with Emily... so I know it isn't that.

4→ No one is coming around to visit... so I know it isn't that.

5→ So as you can see I'm at a complete loss as to why I feel this way... I'm not depressed or anything, and I'm not stressing about this. I just feel like I've forgotten something. Probably when I remember what is is that I forgot to do, it'll turn out not to be important at all... I just hate it when I forget stuff, and lately I seem to do it a lot.

Why is it?

Why is it... the older I get the more medication I have to take? I now have to take medication to control my Migraines, my thyroid and now because I don't take in enough calcium. It's never ending these days it seems.

Why is it... every time the computer or phone upgrades it takes me forever to work out how to use the damn thing again? I swear my phone upgraded and now everything is completely different. then I got on my computer this morning and it upgraded and I'll have to now work out all the new crap on it as well.

Why is it... just when things start to finally go right something comes along to put a great big stumbling block in the middle of the road? I'm not going to go into long and boring details━nor am I going to let it win. Instead I'm going to suck it up and just move on... it can only get better, right?

Why is it... when you always have something in your pantry... the one time you really need it... you're out? I did that today with tomato paste. I'm assuming I'd given my last bottle to Emily to use and just never replaced it. I now have it on the shopping list.

OTHER NEWS: Droogie went back to the vet and he seems to be doing a lot better. though after his vet visit yesterday he seems to have hurt his back legs, but I'm hoping that's nothing more than him having a slight strain from not wanting to have a blood test. I just have to keep an eye on him for the next couple of days to see how his walking is. If it's still stiff tomorrow I have to take him back to the vet.

Updates #2...

Everyone will be happy to know that Droogie had a scratch & lick free night. I know that I certainly am because it meant that I finally got a decent nights sleep. I'm hoping that he's on the mend now, and will soon be getting better.

I had to do a stupid online survey today about a shed that was built in 2012... how the hell am I supposed to remember every little dollar my ex-husband spent building the damn shed, that I had to get certified at the end of 2016 to be able to sell the house... I hope I don't get into trouble now because I can't fill in the forms properly because it is a bloody $180 fine... wouldn't it be just my luck.

Winter should well and truly be heading my way by now, but it seems to be holding off. I bet if we were still at the old house we would be freezing by now. I'm actually kinda glad this place isn't as cold. Though today is chillier than it has been for the last couple of days. I really do prefer the cooler weather. Except for when it comes to doing the washing as I hate washing the jeans and jumpers. Living in Australia, I don't have a drier━a) they cost too much to run power wise, and b) usually ours sun is hot enough to dry anything in a short amount of time.

Today I think I might start working on a back burner book to get me back into the mindset for writing so that when July 1 rocks around, I'll have my head in the right space to be where I need to be to get my books written for the end of the year. For now I just need something to work on so that it doesn't even matter that it's crap... I'll eventually get back to it and clean it up if I want to work on it at a later date.

I've been thinking a lot about the books that I need to get written, and I'm worried about which ones I need to get out to my readers first. I've lost track of what order I was supposed to write them all in. So I'm going to have to ask for forgiveness if I get them all mixed up.

Been Sorting Shit Out

1→ Droogie turns out has an infection due to his scratching... good news is his peeing over everything has stopped. I have to take him back to the vet in a week and we will see how he is doing after that, and he's also had some shots for mites. So hopefully the poor little bugger will start to feel much better soon.

2→ I think I finally have everything sorted out with Centrelink over the missing payments... they were putting my payments into a bank account that has been shut down for nearly 15 months. So after an hour on the phone (and that was just waiting for them to answer) I finally got them to update my account details so it all should be hunky dory now.

3→ I've been watching the Voice with Mum and so far I've picked everyone that made it through to the final twelve. and out of the four teams I have picked the people who I think can win on each team... Seal (Lucy)... Delta (Judah)... Kelly (Bojesse)... Boy George (Hoseah). I think they all have exceptional voices... but that's just my opinion.

4→ I feel like I've burnt the roof of my mouth on something, yet I can't remember eating anything hot... and it's going to be as annoying as hell until it gets better. I also have a massive headache, due to stressing out of Droogie and the whole Centrelink mess. Hopefully now that they both seem to be sorted out I can relax and get back into the frame of mind I need for writing... I miss writing.

5→ I'm taking Mum out on Friday to buy her some more books to read. She is running out so we'll head up to Toowoomba so she can browse through the stores and pick up some more. I'll finally pick up my shelving and the stuff I need from K Mart... I've talked Emily into coming with us so that she can push the trolley while I push Mum in the wheel chair. You'll have one month left of my rambles before I get back to working on writing and my blog gets back to being more about my books so enjoy this all be more personally about me while you can... because sooner or later I'll have to shut that door tight again. well, mostly tight, or until I forget and leave it flappin' in the breeze for everyone to take a gander inside the world of N.J. Nielsen...

OUT NOW

Update Time

1→ Got my results from the Dr this morning, and let's just say NJ has been a bad girl by not taking her medication and now has to have another blood test in six weeks so the Dr can see that I'm back on my medication... and taking it correctly. I have to get my body used to having the correct dosages flowing through my system again so it'll screw me up for the next couple of weeks. I'm also starting on some other medication as well, but this is just Caltrate for my bones as I don't have enough of a calcium intake.

2→ Mum is booked in tomorrow morning to have her eyes tested. and then I thought we'd have a nice morning tea out before we come home. At this stage Emily doesn't think she'll be able to come with us, which is a shame, but we'll survive.

3→ I have Droogie booked in at the vets for this upcoming Wednesday morning. so hopefully they can figure out this whole crazy scratching thing, because I can tell you now it's definitely not fleas. Hopefully it's nothing major, and that it won't cost me a damn fortune, and that he's a good boy and doesn't bite/scratch up the vet like last time he was there.

4→ I've been reading Sherrilyn Kenyon and I'm up to Kiss Of The Night (Wulf & Cassandra). Every time I read these books I find parts I've missed. they never get old. I love so many of the characters I think my four favourites would have to be Ash, Zarek, Valarius, and Styxx.

5→ There's so much going on in my life at the moment that I can't wait for things to settle down so I can sit back and take a deep breath, and get my head together enough to figure out my next step in life. I actually know the next step. the hard part is lifting up my leg and moving my foot forward enough to start moving in the right direction. On that note I'm outa here as I have stuff to do around the house. I'll catch you some time over the next couple of days.

Fur Baby Frustration & Other News

As you all know my cats are 16 years old, and as we are coming into winter this year Droogie has started peeing... more than usual... I mean he'll be scratching and all of a sudden he'll be so into it that his bladder will let go and he'll usually be lying on my damn bed. I've even taken to putting a plastic table cloth on the bed under his blanket and old towels so that he doesn't soak my bedding... learnt that lesson the hard way. (He's only been doing this whole peeing thing for a week). And today he peed on the couch... so I have spent the morning washing and Fabreezing the shit out of it, so I don't get left with the smell of urine... which thankfully I haven't. He knows he's done wrong and now he's hiding. I'm hoping this is just due to a change in the weather and nothing more serious. I'll keep my eye on him and let you all know. As Droogie isn't very popular at the vet, the last time he was there he bit poor Dr Amanda.

Got up this morning and did all my housework straight up, just to get it over and done with. Found out I really need to change that light bulb that I never got around to changing before my sister came. I got a little sidetracked. But like I said I have a month to get my life back on track before I have to get back into writing. So I really need to come up with a working routine.

I have to do some gardening today, but I just can't bring myself to do go outside and start. I'm not what you would call an avid gardener. I don't mind the watering, I hate weeding and the tending of the plants etc, but I suppose it has to be done, and I'm the one that has to do it. For the life of me I can't figure out why the hell I put the garden beds in, in the first place. At least they aren't usually flowering plants.

My migraines have made a return. I'm hoping they are here for just a brief visit as I truly don't want them for much longer than a day or two at most. I thought I had them under control... or at least I hoped I had. I go back to the doctor on Monday so I'll have to find out then.

Mum is watching North & South on Netflix, but I bet I'm the one who gets sucked in to the story, as Mum will more than likely forget it... she doesn't have the greatest memory.

Thursday: Is Errand Running Day...

I have one day a week where Mum is at respite and I get to run around and do all the errands that have to get done. Thankfully today there was only a couple and I had time to come home and relax before Mum comes home again.

→ I had to book Mum in for her annual eye test, which will be next Tuesday... crap I must remember to let Bronwyn H know I won't be on for our weekly meeting/chat.

→ I also picked up a few groceries (fresh veggies) just so I don't run out before shopping day next week.

→ I've started keeping lists again. And I know this is more like me. My family always used to refer to me as the list lady. I feel better when I can see it written it in black and white before me.

→ Tomorrow for me is house cleaning day so I'll be up early cleaning before the shop opens down stairs. I try to get all the noisy crap done so that it won't disturb them while they are open. only because I'd hate to have noise constantly overhead if it was me.

→ I have to do one of those clean outs of my computer again... get rid of the crap so I can see what I have that's worth keeping and working on... 

→ I've been watching Most Haunted and boy has it been giving me ideas for a story. I can feel it brewing in the back of my mind. Yet at the moment it's not strong enough to put pen to paper... I want to give it some more thought before I get into the nitty-gritty of discussions... and the story has nothing to do with ghost haunting or hunting (well maybe not), but the episode was about these tunnels (I want to say they were called the Drakelow Tunnels) I want to write a story where people actually live in these tunnels... and there might be a murderer or something... I just don't know yet... But when I figure it out you'll be the first to know after me.

NJ Has Been A Bad Girl & Other Stuff

Okay, so I have been feeling poorly for the last few months... and now I know why. Seeing as I haven't been taking my thyroid medicine the way I should have been taking it... I have no one to blame but myself, so now I have to become strict with myself and make sure I take my medication.

I have to go back to the doctor on Monday to get results of the blood test I had to have today... I now have to be smarter about my health. I'm going to be a lot better at this taking care of myself shit.

So now I have to take a step back from everything and retrain my way of thinking the time has come for me to think about me... But that's enough about me... you're really not interested in my personal life and I should really get back to talking about books and other stuff.

BOOKS: Lately I've been reading Sherrilyn Kenyon... I haven't read the Dark Hunter series in a while so it felt like the right thing to do.  And really I'm enjoying it, so I'll keep going.

NETFLIX: I'm watching Longmire again... mainly because it was a damn good show... and I have nothing better to do.

MOVIES: I haven't really watched any lately. I have to be really in the mood to sit there and watch a movie.

COOKING: I'm attempting to cook meatloaf━how hard can it be? I'll let you know how it all turns out the next time I do a post. I at least hope it's edible. I'm totally winging it. I have no recipe so to speak, so I'm making it up.

I Finally See The Light

After 15 months I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. and my life is going to get back on track. I'm not saying that all my troubles are over, but at least the hard yards are mow done. I've gone to court/mediation and dealt with the separation of my marriage. I think in the long run we will both be happier now that we can move on, and enjoy the rest of our lives. I may have walked away with less, but I truly do feel a lot freer for the letting go.

The care of my mother has also now been sorted out and I am now officially classed as her carer. which truly has been a 15 month battle... due to lost paperwork (numerous times) and just being shuffled from one government department to another. But I got the phone call this morning to say that it had all finally been sorted out. This is a load off my mind.

During the course of all of this weeks stress I forgot to take two days worth of migraine medication and I'm frigging paying for it today. My head is killing me, so it's going to take a couple of days for the medication to get back into my system and flowing properly... SO THIS IS A MISTAKE I WON'T BE REPEATING...

Everything should be sorted out completely over the next 3 weeks so after that I will be able to concentrate on writing again. I hate that I haven't been able to string so much as a sentence together for any of my stories. I hope to make up for it in the latter half of the year.

I honestly didn't realise how draining stress could be. The last 2 years for me have been absolute hell in having to deal with shit that life threw at me, but I survived. I'll go on and each day will get better. Mainly because I have people that need me still. Many a day I would have loved nothing better than to have curled up into a ball and cried my eyes out, but couldn't. My motto was "Suck it up, Princess. There are people out there who have it worse off than you. You're alive and breathing, so just keep going." Not very original, but it worked for me.

Now I just have too much to live for. I have family. I have friends (Even if you are all spread out all around the globe). I have pets who love me unconditionally. Even better, I have a head full of ideas that are just waiting to be shared with you all.

Why Is It?

Why is it... when I go onto the internet to do some research, I always end up looking at a shitload of abandoned houses and buildings? I just can't seem to help myself. I must admit that it hasn't helped that I've been watching Most Haunted on Netflix and they are usually set in abandoned and decrepit buildings. Honestly they just seem to fascinate me for some reason.

Why is it... when I have to spread the chook poo on the garden bed I keep putting it off? Same with changing of the light bulb (I know that one is because I have to go and get a ladder from my brother's place as I have fricken high ceilings.) but I have to get it done today before my sister turns up as the faulty bulb is in the spare room.

Why is it... When I think I have the whole house clean I find more stuff that needs to find a permanent home? I really need to just go through it and throw it away if it's trash, or donate it to charity if it has a chance of being rehoused. Sometimes I just keep crap for just in case I ever need it, and I never do.

Why is it... when I write out a shopping list and then go and do the groceries I always come home I've always forgotten something on the list and come home with a ton of stuff that wasn't on the list? It seems to happen to me every shopping day. So fricken annoying, as I'm trying to stick to the shopping list these days or else I never use things before the use by dates are well and truly up.

Today...

→ At 1am little Jaxon Walker was born 8lb 1oz, and seems to be doing well. I am helping for both Mum and bub. Lacey has always wanted to be a mum and now she finally is... and she'll be a fantastic mum at that. She's always spoiled her nieces and nephews rotten and they all love her two bits.

→ Emily moves out today. I'll miss her for a bit, but I sure will be glad to get all of her belongings out of my house. and get my place cleaned up. I love my daughter but she has way to much stuff to stay with us for any length of time.

→ Woke up this morning and it was the first time I actually had to reach for a jumper upon getting out of bed. And I have been sneezing ever since putting it on. So I'm assuming Willow (the cat) has managed to sneak into the cupboard and lay amongst my winter wear.

→ Went out shopping with Emily last night and picked up some essential for her new place... microwave, pots, dishes, kettle, toaster, chopping board, cooking utensils, glasses, etc... there were some things we forgot (bin and we still need to get a fridge, but we need to see what size fridge will fit in before we can buy one of those.

→ Once my house is back in order I'll be able to settle down and write again. It's hard to write while I live in utter chaos.

Some Good News & Some Bad

Emily finally found a place of her own to move into. She picks up the keys on Friday, which means that I finally will be able to get my own house back to normal... and I can't wait.

My poor niece is still in the hospital and hasn't had her baby as yet. she got induced yesterday at 12ish... I'm waiting for baby pics.

Strangely I have a headache today, and I don't think it has anything to do with my migraines. I have a ache in my ear (I've suffered with sore ears for most of my life, so nothing new there). Today I woke up and I have like a heartbeat in my right eardrum. It's not exactly painful, just annoying.

I'm starting to get frustrated with life in general... not enough to do myself self harm or anything like that. I'm just frustrated that my life seems to be on hold while I wait for the justice system to release my funds to me. Why does it take so long for everything to get signed off on... But that's all I've got to say about that.

Centrelink is still taking their sweet time deciding whether or not to pay me the carer's payment for looking after my mum (who has been diagnosed with the start of dementia). It's been going on for  15 months now. I don't understand why they are fighting me so much. they prefer us not to put our family into homes for people to look after then, don't want to help us out, because I can't go out and work and leave mum home on her own as she has a tendency to panic... and thankfully we no longer have gas... once she left that one and I didn't know until I walked into the house, and thank fuck none of us were smokers. She couldn't smell it and didn't have a clue that she had done it... SCARY.