Saturday 17 January 2015

2015: The Year Of The Weird ~ Or So It Seems

I swear to God I told you only a few days ago that 2015 was going to be my year. the year where my writing schedule fell into place and everything ran smoothly and i stayed on time with each additional projectdon't laugh it really workssometimes... now I'm starting to think maybe it will be my year of the totally fucked up & just plain weird—especially, when it comes to all things electrical. It's totally starting to drive me nuts.

This is what I mean:
1) The lid of my kettle recently decided that every time I wanted to open it the damn thing would shoot off and skid across the bench… So I had to bet a new one.

2) My office computer has decided not to let me cut and paste into documents. It keeps taking half the documents away. So I have to shut down and save between each thing—major PITA.

3) My tablet is working thank god so at least can still work. Mind you the heat is playing havoc with everything. Though, my facebook is constantly doing weird shit—but what else is new.

I’m still crazy busy writing. In between doing taxes and getting Ethan & Emily ready for the new school year—high school & university (bloody hell—it’s costing me a fortune).

On the downside: my Ross River Fever is still hanging around and being a huge pain in the arse. So, I’d be grateful if you could send all your positive thoughts my way.

Friday 16 January 2015

Sentinels Of Varnuse 2: Wind Walkers [3]

#3.
Dominic grunted for the umpteenth time since they had risen that morning and they were already three hours into the day. He was already tired of the two men who he’d been sent after. It’s seemed they couldn’t go five minutes without sniping at each other. And for some reason Vayne wasn’t happy about Dominic’s mate and brother tagging along. Crimson and Nico were bird shifters and descendants of the Aarondyte line—albeit a side line of descendants—but still should have been treated with more respect. They had enough of the Aarondyte lineage running through their blood to count as possible sentinel mate, Dominic wondered if Nico was also destined to mate with one of his fellow sentinels. His thoughts were interrupted when Vayne glared at him and snarled.

“Oh, for the love of…” Vayne trailed off as the shout of pain came from behind them on the trail, “Go and get your idiot of a mate and his sibling before they cause themselves some real harm, or announce to everyone within a hundred mile radius exactly where we are.”

Dominic grinned; he’d wondered earlier how much it would take for Vayne to crack—now I know. It hadn’t surprised him when he realised Crimson had followed him. What shocked him was the fact that he’d dragged his brother along for the journey. They’d all left the shifter village three days ago, and with every step he took he wanted to turn around and rush back to Crimson and beg him to come away with him. Now he was glad that he didn’t have to do it, he’d been sent after Vayne and Arron for a reason, maybe this was it—maybe he’d been sent along just so he could find his mate—maybe this was what Lucas had meant about his destiny.

“I swear if they slow us down I’ll kill them myself.” Vayne growled again just as Arron punched him hard on the arm.

Arron frowned at Vayne. “You won’t touch one hair on either of their heads, especially not Dominic’s mate.”

Dominic chuckled at their squabbling as he slipped away into the forest behind. For two men who were supposed to be mated, they sure didn’t act like it most of the time. If Arron said the sky was a nice shade of blue then Vayne would immediately argue that it was red. He honestly hoped his mating with Crimson Redhawk was not going to be as volatile. All he’d ever wanted was to be loved and be loved in return—was that too much to ask for?

Dominic quickly climbed the nearest tree as he waited for his mate to catch up. When they were almost underneath him he swung down somersaulting to land on his feet before them. He grinned at the shocked looks they both wore.

“Holy Shit!” Nico clutched at the shirt covering his chest. “You scared the ever-loving crap out of me.

At first Crimson didn’t say anything. A beautiful blush seemed to ghost over his mate’s skin as he bodily launched himself into Dominic’s arms and clung tight. The only thing Dominic could do was wrap his mate up in his arms and hold him in return. He could breathe a little easier now knowing his mate was close at hand where he could protect him.

“You left without me.” It was a simple statement which tore at Dominic’s heart.

Dominic tightened his embrace fractionally. “I know, and I’m so sorry about that. I shouldn’t have done it.”

“No you shouldn’t have.” Crimson retorted with a snort. “It would have been so much easier if we just left with you.This place is dangerous.” He ended as he gestured to the forest around them. “Do you know how much stuff in this place can hurt you?” Crimson went on.
Dominic picked up his mate and headed back to where Arron and Vayne waited. He didn’t have to look or say anything to know that Nico was following them. When he’d spoken to Nico back at the village he’d found out how close the siblings were.

He shook his head in dismay as he stepped into the clearing when he realised Vayne and Arron were still arguing. Vayne abruptly cut off what he was going to say and stared at Crimson in his arms.

“Is he hurt?”

Dominic shook his head.

“Then who was making all that noise?” Vayne demanded.

“That would be me.” Crimson glared at Vayne. And Dominic smiled as he watch his waif like man face off against Vayne who was quite clearly three times the bird shifters size. Crimson’ voice jumped an octave. “Do you know how much scary crap lives in this forest? Sometimes it just jumps out and hits you for no apparent reason.”

Vayne seemed to be watching Crimson with a slightly bemused look on his face. Arron on the other hand was openly grinning.

Nico chuckled and stated. “He was bitching and moaning about never catching up to Dominic and walked into a tree because he wasn’t watching where he was going.”

Dominic laughed softly only to have Crimson turn his pissed off glare in his direction. Oh his mate had fire in him. Dominic like that—a lot.

“Laugh it up chuckle boy, one of these days the great ones will come back to our world and Karma will bite you on the arse.”

“Great ones?” Vayne suddenly asked, and by the look on his face Dominic knew something of importance was happening.

“Yes, the great ones.” Crimson shrugged, “Shifters might be known as the old ones, but we’re descended from the great ones. They’re the ones of our kind who can shift into all beasts. Their true beast form is that of the dragon. The one true ruler of all the phases of the elements.”

Dominic let Crimson slide down his body until his mate was standing in front of him. Not willing to let Crimson move too far away from him he wrapped an arm around his mate’s waist so Crimson’s back was flush against Dominic’s chest. “How do you know all of this?”

Crimson stepped out of his embrace, turned to him and rolled his eyes. “Because I can read. All shifters are taught at a young age about the greatest creature in the world. We learn it because it is part of our heritage.”

“What else do you know about these great ones?” Vayne demanded, though Arron looked just as curious about what the answer might be.

“Well, I know there’s reportedly only one of the great ones left in all existence. I know some guy named Tondran had him in his grasp and then lost him. I know Tondran is now on the exact same quest you guys seem to be on. I know Tondran left his son in charge of his compound.”

“Not anymore.” Arron said quietly. “The last I saw of Ormand he was most assuredly dead.”

“Huh, I wonder how that happened.” Crimson said in a thought filled voice.

“Could have had something to do with the dirty great knife that Arron ran through him.” Vayne said with a proud smile—it would seem Vayne did have at least some feelings for his mate.

Dominic, Nico and Crimson all stared at Arron in opened mouth disbelief. The forest fell silent as if it knew to make no noise. It seemed like a lifetime of heartbeats passed before they cracked up laughing.

“Guys I’m serious. Arron really did kill Ormand.” Vayne snarled.

“I know,” Crimson howled with laughter, “That’s what makes it so funny.”

Thursday 15 January 2015

OUT NOW ~ Love's Landscapes Vol 15

Stories in Volume 15
Les Joseph: Tidewater
Jay D Clark: Time Trials
Kathleen Hayes: Too the end
Cam Kennedy: To You I Am Bound
Ren Stjerne: Too Pretty
Angela Maye: Torn
Jamie Fessenden: Touching Narcissus
Jana Denardo: Triskelion
Tam Ames: Trunk'd
N.J. Nielsen: Trying Not To Love You

The stories in this collection may contain sexually explicit content and are intended for adult readers. They may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.

The stories you are about to read celebrate love, sex and romance between men. They are a product of the M/M Romance Group's “Love’s Landscapes” promotion sponsored by the Goodreads M/M Romance Group, and each anthology is published as a gift to you.

What Is Love’s Landscapes?

The Goodreads M/M Romance Group invited members to choose a photo and pen a letter asking for a short M/M romance story inspired by the image; authors from the group were then encouraged to select a letter and write an original tale. The result was an outpouring of creativity that shone a spotlight on the special bond between M/M romance writers and the people who love what they produce.

210 stories were submitted and have now been published as a seventeen volume set with five additional bonus volumes, titled Love’s Landscapes. This edition is Volume 15.

Wednesday 14 January 2015

Playing Catch Up With My Life

I had promised that 2015 was going to be my year... I honestly still think it will be my year. I just have to re organise my writing timetable. I'm a little bit behind but hope to catch up within the next couple of weeks.

Today I did first edits on The Diamond Rose 1: Gateway to Kalethia and sent them back to my wonderful editor Jamie DR at Fireborn Publishing.

I also did line edits for Experimentals 2: Running into Zero Tolerance and sent them back to my amazing editor Christie N at MLRPress. Also for MLRPress I'm typing up more of The Lines Of Marsden 3: You Make Me Die In Pieces... why did I ever think it was a good idea to write it all out in longhand first? Next time somebody slap me if I even think about doing it.

I've also been managing to get some work done on The Connelly Chronicles 2: Beautiful Goodbyes for Totally Bound Publishing.

And yes I even managed to separated and plot (yes I know shock of all shocks seeing as I'm not a plotter) The Gaean Prophecy... Same characters but drastically changed story line... same basis, just different journey. So now I'll have to get in contact with the awesome Lily Veldon over at Wayward Ink Press who has offered to beta read for me and help me navigate through the fight scenes.

I've also been sorting out which stories belong to which publisher so that when the time comes to write the story I will be okay... I've even been making up long hand files so I can read them even while not on the computer.

Saturday 10 January 2015

Guest Blogger: David Russell

An Ecstatic Rendezvous


Blurb:
A very handsome but shy man yearns to have a one-night stand with a sexy woman. One day he decided to step out of his comfort zone and gained enough courage to ask a girl out.

Excerpt:
Her aura, spiced by her exquisite scent, so full and strong, was really driving me wild, my breath heating, my juices simmering. The whole scenario was quite overwhelming. The moment for the grand ceremony had come. I took her by the hand and lifted her to stand facing me. “We’ll have a romantic undress,” I said.

“The prelude for our symphony,” she said.

“As an impassioned Mozartian—and I assume you are, too—I just love well-orchestrated sonatas of love! I’ve been yearning for someone with your finesse, dreaming about it for ages!”

I had chosen non-laced shoes to avoid any possibility of fumbling, my jacket and socks were no trouble, and I placed all the garments aside of the main action area to be. Then, Sandra skilfully thumbed my buttons and peeled off my shirt and vest, feeling the muscles of my torso and my arms as she did so. I stood before her, proud in my tight black bikini briefs.

Her face lit up. “Oh, darling, you’ve got such a wonderful physique, I’m so proud of my catch!”

“I’ll do the same for you, so for the next stage of revelation, let me take your blouse off first.”

It was off-the-shoulder, flimsily, casually and alluringly worn. The motion of my quivering thumbs echoed the firmness. The three pearl buttons undid with ease to make a gracious parting. Then, my hands went under its top, and eased it off to reveal her glorious firm sun-tanned shoulders and her willowy back.

“Okay, part two. Now, I’ll undo your skirt.” I peeled the zip along very slowly with my left, feeling her hips as I did and edged it down, with my hands smoothing her bottom and then squeezing her firm thighs. Sandra gave a knowing smile and a giggle.

“Is that nice?” This was the next delicious stage of revelation, to see the full shape of her legs. I love elastic-topped stockings—so much more alluring without suspenders. I touched their tops and felt her firm flesh beneath them. Her thighs and calves had an absolute sensual iridescence.

“Now, off with them, darling. I want to see your lovely legs as they really are.” The stockings looked so delicate, I didn’t want to risk laddering them. Sandra had to do that with her faultless firm but delicate hands. Supremely at ease with her aura, she lowered them with tender, loving care. Now, with matching caresses, we felt each other’s thighs and calves.

“It’s great that we’ve kept up our fitness routines in anticipation of the big day,” she said. “You don’t drink beer either, do you? I really appreciate that.”

Her silky white briefs gleamed with promise—their own special luminosity—it felt a ballerina’s pirouetting, but frozen motionless.

As the tactile sensations built up, my breath was heavy with suspense, laden with the weight of long-repressed desire, at last so blissfully released.

“Now, darling, remember all your favourite scenes on film and video. You’re going to re-enact all your star idols’ peak moments when you desperately ached to be there in the middle of the action. Now, we’re going to be our own celebrities and super-directors, bringing all those lovely visions beaming into real life. This scene is going to make the perfect fusion of the boudoir and the beach. We’re going to enter the deep embrace of the ocean of love. Our fantasy beach, our fantasy sea, is beckoning us. Let’s put on our bathing costumes now. I’m a turn-on in briefs, and you are in that gorgeous underwear, so let’s go on to the next pieces of costumery.”

Reviews:
#1: An Ecstatic Rendezvous is a shorty story about a young man wanting the courage to have a one night stand with a good looking woman. This was a short, slightly more interested read by David Russell. I thought it was well written, with a decent storyline and a good set up. Since this is such a short read, I won't dive into the book, even a little bit, but I will say I thought this was quite interesting. I give An Ecstatic Rendezvous a THREE OUT OF THREE STARS. If you’re looking for a short read and looking for something completely different than the average erotica I suggest you try one of David Russell's books.

#2: This is an interesting short story, told in the first person from the male protagonist’s point of view. I enjoyed how it was somewhat like one of those “tell a secret” confession letters, but still rich in detail and descriptions. There’s quite a bit of internal discussion – as one would expect from a first-person tale – and I was pleased that for a change we got to see and experience everything from the man’s point of view. It was different to how a woman would have told the story, and I found this made the story fresh and quite interesting.

I found the dialogue a little stilted, almost oddly formal in places considering it was a sexual experience—for example “At last, your courage has fused with your admirable circumspection”. I wondered if this was written on purpose—to add to the air of an old film, or perhaps the unreality of a fantasy come to life. The slight off-beat language jarred me now and then, but wasn’t strong enough to make me want to stop reading, and certainly didn’t dampen my curiosity about how it would all end up.

I was also a little surprised at the dichotomy of the protagonist. In his opening sentence he declares “Yes, I’m a narcissist and proud of it”, yet he’s too shy to ask a woman out for a date. He’s spent months exercising and buffing his body up to perfection, but can’t gather the courage to ask a still-life model out for dinner and a date. While this paradox confused me, it also intrigued me. I’ll admit to still being a little confused even by the ending, but as this was his first experience and he later explains further about his shyness, I came away with the feeling that the protagonist was a lot more complicated than we could get to understand in the briefness of the story.

This was a very different style of story and probably won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. Still I have to admit I really enjoyed it. I liked the different perspective, the feel of a romantic confession and the fact it was unlike practically every other story I’ve read. It’s fresh and different and that alone made it well worth the read. There is one very tastefully written sex scene, quite graphic but nothing I found remotely offensive. I think readers interested in a take on a man’s sexual experience and fantasy, or those who enjoy “confessions of” style tales should find this quite enjoyable.

Now check out the Sequel
Darlene

Blurb:
The hero, Percival arranges a date through a contact mag. He and Darlene have a rapturous scenario, handled with superb finesse and supreme command of the wardrobe. He finds some hints of her complicated past. Before and after the encounter, he is eyed up and accosted by malicious-seeming men. The sense of an underlying hornet’s nest is scary, and immediately detracts from the euphoria, which does finally prevail.

"After his experience with Sandra in An Ecstatic Rendezvous, our man is ready for another tryst and arranges to meet Darlene for a date. With his penchant for fantasy stories and dress-up scenarios, his second experience is a similarly controlled wooing that he soaks in with vibrant relish, though Darlene's checkered past adds an element of danger he had not foreseen. Nice sequel to An Ecstatic Rendezvous."

~Midnight Attic Reader

Buy Links

Excerpt:
At last, the sun peeped through the cloud-blankets after all those overcast days. I needed to be refreshed again. It had now been quite a while since that last fabulous foray, which had so beautifully realized my dreams, and convinced me unreservedly that I had overcome that fumbling clumsiness to attain tactile fulfillment. It had flushed me with a surge of my unrealized teenage —all those things I’d missed in those formative years, now the gaps and fissures filled in— made me feel I’d both frozen the body and mind in their freshness, and kept them pulsing, too. The intervening daily routines had leveled comfortably down, then dullness loomed again. So, it came to me in a flash, with light shards shimmering from my stepping into a puddle—I desperately needed a replay, a recharge—activate the spark plug.

Indeed, there was a twinge of regret coursing through me about having mislaid Sandra’s number. It was so stupid of me to throw out that precious piece of paper in that fit of impulsive spring-cleaning, which often has the effect of unearthing old snippets of sentimental value, and reconnecting with submerged, valid threads which are then slotted into reflective order. Not all was lost, though. No one is finally unique, no matter how exceptional she appears. There are always others. Just cast an eye on those other fish in the sea, those beautiful swathes milling through the shopping precincts, that visual, tactile kaleidoscope, brushing off on me, making me feel rejuvenated.

For some time now, I kept that next in preference, special, alluring phone number lying alluringly in the top of my desk drawer, together with its seductive picture, throbbing in that electric corset, with a bit of plastic sheen, but not too much. The photo was in the back number of Rendezvous magazine. It was Darlene, her firm breasts feeling like power switches throwing out energy to my delicate touch. Some evenings, I alternated between looking at her picture, watching Madonna’s eroticavideo and looking online at the catalogues of retro lingerie. It was a turn-on flashback to those relics of a repressive era relating in some way to current tastes for bondage and corporal punishment— probably now that the horrid past is now at a safe distance, for some of the people, some of the time.

Everybody is constrained a bit by workaday routines, but the right amount of delay never fails to add relish to any quest.. Contrast is essential to any definition. Going too fast always detracts from the final effect. So there was a happy, breathy anticipatory gap of a few days, which honed the expected savour to perfection, the oven simmering at a low heat to prepare the exotic dish. All through it, I was flooded with a rapturous cocktail of reminiscence and anticipation. It started with the exquisite euphoria of my first, unpremeditated, off-balance one-night stand. This included an opening, long drawn-out kiss, tiptoeing back to the flat, the body revelation, the love, the bath, the idyllic park walk, and the farewell. It was the perfect memory, frozen expressions of affection and always there for replay in my mind in times of stress and depression Now, with the extra bonus of all those breathy film and video scenes to spice it up further, every thought was a metaphorical caress. Cameramen have a good time, which must be great to touch with the eyes, and great to have the senses melt into each other.

Author Bio:
b. 1940. Resident in the UK. Writer of poetry, literary criticism, speculative fiction and romance. Main poetry collection Prickling Counterpoints (1998); poems published in online International Times. Main speculative works High Wired On (2002); Rock Bottom (2005). Translation of Spanish epic La Araucana, Amazon 2013. Romances: Self’s Blossom; Explorations; Further Explorations; Therapy Rapture; Darlene, An Ecstatic Rendezvous (all pub Extasy (Devine Destinies). Singer-songwriter/guitarist. Main CD albums: Bacteria Shrapnel and Kaleidoscope Concentrate. Many tracks on You Tube, under ‘Dave Russell’

Find David Here

Thursday 8 January 2015

Em's Turn - It's My Birthday

Happy Birthday
Emily S
Paolo Nutini
Thorny Sterling
May the year ahead be better
than the year just past.








Paolo Nutini

For Thorny

Wednesday 7 January 2015

Sentinels Of Varnuse 2: Wind Walkers [2]

#2.
Crimson Redhawk shook his head in wonder. He watched the three men who had stopped in for supplies leave his village and he had the strange urge to call out to them and get them to stay. Vayne and Arron were two of the strangest men he’d ever met in his life. Honestly, it seemed as though they both loved and hated each other at the same time—confusing as hell if you asked Crimson. Dominic Bourke was another matter entirely. Not only was a strange one, Crimson had yet to work out what the hell was going on. Dominic was quiet yet he seemed to always be near. Lately every time he turned around Dominic was either watching every move he made. His brother, Nico, said he thought maybe the sentinel was infatuated with Crimson.

“You looked troubled young one.”

Crimson turned and looked up into the face of his father and shrugged. “I’m okay, there’s not much I can do to change things.” As the words left his mouth sorrow washed over him.

Crimson and Nico were from the same nesting. Though, Nico was older by about ten minutes. Not that they looked anything alike. Crimson could feel his brother’s worry—he knew Nico could feel his pain over Dominic leaving with the others.

“Your path lies elsewhere, it won’t take long for you to follow your heart,” his father said softly. “I will be sad to see you go, but I cannot watch you stay here and lose this chance at a better life.”

Shock raced through Crimson. “You want me to leave?”
What would he do without his father and his nest mate? He and Nico had been inseparable in the entire twenty-six years they’d been alive. If he left Nico behind it would be like leaving behind a huge part of himself. Out of the four hatchlings in their nesting, he and Nico were the closest; it could be because they both had similar tastes in all aspects of their life, from the way they dressed to their sexual preferences. Their other nest mates Terrell and Loren never did understand either of them.

His father nodded, he reached and placed a gentle hand on Crimsons shoulder. “You will need to take Nico with you. He won’t survive here alone. His destiny is to keep you sane and whole. You’ll need to enhance the mind link that you share. As you know it’s a rare and cherished gift among our kind.” Squeezing crimson’s shoulder his dad went on. “By following you Nico will find his own heart. Somewhere out there is the man that will love him as he was meant to be.”

Without another word his father walked from the room. Crimson stared after him, his mouth opening and closing rapidly in sync with the fluttering beat of his heart. He was shocked to find out that his father even knew about his and Nico’s tastes in men. To date all his rendezvous had been in secret and kept well away from his village and especially his family. In stunned silence Crimson made his way to the small hut that he shared with Nico.

“Are you okay?” Nico asked as soon as Crimson walked into the room and collapsed on the bed across from him. “Are you ill?”

Crimson shook his head he was still trying to digest the fact his father wanted them to leave, and he knew they were both gay. More so that their father didn’t seem to be disgusted or disappointed by the fact.

“Then what is it, Crim?” Nico sounded worried.

“Dad, knows that we’re gay… he… he says that we’re leaving the village—that I need to follow Dominic, and that I have to take you with me.”

Nico stared at him in stunned silence. “I was thinking about leaving anyway. I talked to your Dominic while he was here. He told me about all the places and things he’s seen. I want to see what is outside the perimeter of our village.”

Crimson stood up and paced around the room. His brother sat and watched as him thought hard about the conversation with his father and the implications of what it meant. Once his decision was made he nodded and pulled out his travel backpack. Walking to his dresser he opened the drawer and began shoving clothes into it. He turned and grinned, “Well are you getting your shit together? They’ll get too far ahead of us if we wait.”

Getting up Nico blushed as he pulled an already filled bag from under his bed. “I might have already packed mine,” Nico said softly as he pulled the bag onto his back and waited for Crimson to finish and do the same. “Do we tell the others?”

Crimson shook his head as he shrugged into his own backpack. “Why? Dad already knows we’re leaving, we have his blessing and that’s all that matters.”

It felt like a load had been lifted from his shoulders as they made their way past the outer guard’s perimeter and into the jungle fully. Nico could feel the eyes of the guards following them and knew one set belonged to Terrell, their brother. It was kind of nice knowing that he would not have to put up with the hate filled glares of their brothers and Mother. Marion Redhawk detested both him and Nico. He never found out why. All he was certain of was were never good enough for her. Instead she doted on Terrell and Loren, the two sons that shared her hatred for him and Nico. It saddened him that Nico suffered right alongside him. Nico was a gentler person than Crimson and took their brother’s disdain to heart, whereas Crimson hated them right back.

“Stop thinking so hard.” Crimson snapped at the worry on Nico’s face. “Those arseholes aren’t worth it.” He stopped and turned and stared straight at Nico. “We’re better than them all. Dad’s the only decent one among them and he encouraged us to leave before things got worse.”

“It just worries me that they might turn on him now that we have gone,” Nico said so softly.

Crimson shook his head. “Dad, basically told us to leave, he knew we would never be able to advance through the Redhawk line with our sexual preferences. He knew the only way for us to truly live was if we left the village. He wanted us to leave all the crap we’ve endured at the hands of our siblings over the years, and moved on with our lives. He”—Crimson fell silent for a moment—“You know Nico; I never thought dad knew I was gay, but I guess he’s always known.”

Nico blushed as he confessed. “He knew, I told him when we were in our early teens. But I think he even knew before then.”

“What do you mean?”

Nico smiled, “Dad always told me that the bond you and I share was a precious gift, one to be cherished. He said not many people were given this gift, especially not siblings. He told me no matter what else happened in our lives we would always have each other to count on. Dad believed we had this connection because we're gay.”


Crimson grinned as they bumped shoulders. “Well I guess he was right. Together we leave the past behind and take the first into the future we were always meant to live.”