Friday, 26 May 2017

Fur Baby Frustration & Other News

As you all know my cats are 16 years old, and as we are coming into winter this year Droogie has started peeing... more than usual... I mean he'll be scratching and all of a sudden he'll be so into it that his bladder will let go and he'll usually be lying on my damn bed. I've even taken to putting a plastic table cloth on the bed under his blanket and old towels so that he doesn't soak my bedding... learnt that lesson the hard way. (He's only been doing this whole peeing thing for a week). And today he peed on the couch... so I have spent the morning washing and Fabreezing the shit out of it, so I don't get left with the smell of urine... which thankfully I haven't. He knows he's done wrong and now he's hiding. I'm hoping this is just due to a change in the weather and nothing more serious. I'll keep my eye on him and let you all know. As Droogie isn't very popular at the vet, the last time he was there he bit poor Dr Amanda.

Got up this morning and did all my housework straight up, just to get it over and done with. Found out I really need to change that light bulb that I never got around to changing before my sister came. I got a little sidetracked. But like I said I have a month to get my life back on track before I have to get back into writing. So I really need to come up with a working routine.

I have to do some gardening today, but I just can't bring myself to do go outside and start. I'm not what you would call an avid gardener. I don't mind the watering, I hate weeding and the tending of the plants etc, but I suppose it has to be done, and I'm the one that has to do it. For the life of me I can't figure out why the hell I put the garden beds in, in the first place. At least they aren't usually flowering plants.

My migraines have made a return. I'm hoping they are here for just a brief visit as I truly don't want them for much longer than a day or two at most. I thought I had them under control... or at least I hoped I had. I go back to the doctor on Monday so I'll have to find out then.

Mum is watching North & South on Netflix, but I bet I'm the one who gets sucked in to the story, as Mum will more than likely forget it... she doesn't have the greatest memory.

Thursday, 25 May 2017

Thursday: Is Errand Running Day...

I have one day a week where Mum is at respite and I get to run around and do all the errands that have to get done. Thankfully today there was only a couple and I had time to come home and relax before Mum comes home again.

I had to book Mum in for her annual eye test, which will be next Tuesday... crap I must remember to let Bronwyn H know I won't be on for our weekly meeting/chat.

I also picked up a few groceries (fresh veggies) just so I don't run out before shopping day next week.

I've started keeping lists again. And I know this is more like me. My family always used to refer to me as the list lady. I feel better when I can see it written it in black and white before me.

Tomorrow for me is house cleaning day so I'll be up early cleaning before the shop opens down stairs. I try to get all the noisy crap done so that it won't disturb them while they are open. only because I'd hate to have noise constantly overhead if it was me.

I have to do one of those clean outs of my computer again... get rid of the crap so I can see what I have that's worth keeping and working on... 

I've been watching Most Haunted and boy has it been giving me ideas for a story. I can feel it brewing in the back of my mind. Yet at the moment it's not strong enough to put pen to paper... I want to give it some more thought before I get into the nitty-gritty of discussions... and the story has nothing to do with ghost haunting or hunting (well maybe not), but the episode was about these tunnels (I want to say they were called the Drakelow Tunnels) I want to write a story where people actually live in these tunnels... and there might be a murderer or something... I just don't know yet... But when I figure it out you'll be the first to know after me.

Wednesday, 24 May 2017

NJ Has Been A Bad Girl & Other Stuff

Okay, so I have been feeling poorly for the last few months... and now I know why. Seeing as I haven't been taking my thyroid medicine the way I should have been taking it... I have no one to blame but myself, so now I have to become strict with myself and make sure I take my medication.

I have to go back to the doctor on Monday to get results of the blood test I had to have today... I now have to be smarter about my health. I'm going to be a lot better at this taking care of myself shit.

So now I have to take a step back from everything and retrain my way of thinking the time has come for me to think about me... But that's enough about me... you're really not interested in my personal life and I should really get back to talking about books and other stuff.

BOOKS: Lately I've been reading Sherrilyn Kenyon... I haven't read the Dark Hunter series in a while so it felt like the right thing to do.  And really I'm enjoying it, so I'll keep going.

NETFLIX: I'm watching Longmire again... mainly because it was a damn good show... and I have nothing better to do.

MOVIES: I haven't really watched any lately. I have to be really in the mood to sit there and watch a movie.

COOKING: I'm attempting to cook meatloaf━how hard can it be? I'll let you know how it all turns out the next time I do a post. I at least hope it's edible. I'm totally winging it. I have no recipe so to speak, so I'm making it up.

Tuesday, 23 May 2017

I Finally See The Light

After 15 months I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. and my life is going to get back on track. I'm not saying that all my troubles are over, but at least the hard yards are mow done. I've gone to court/mediation and dealt with the separation of my marriage. I think in the long run we will both be happier now that we can move on, and enjoy the rest of our lives. I may have walked away with less, but I truly do feel a lot freer for the letting go.

The care of my mother has also now been sorted out and I am now officially classed as her carer. which truly has been a 15 month battle... due to lost paperwork (numerous times) and just being shuffled from one government department to another. But I got the phone call this morning to say that it had all finally been sorted out. This is a load off my mind.

During the course of all of this weeks stress I forgot to take two days worth of migraine medication and I'm frigging paying for it today. My head is killing me, so it's going to take a couple of days for the medication to get back into my system and flowing properly... SO THIS IS A MISTAKE I WON'T BE REPEATING...

Everything should be sorted out completely over the next 3 weeks so after that I will be able to concentrate on writing again. I hate that I haven't been able to string so much as a sentence together for any of my stories. I hope to make up for it in the latter half of the year.

I honestly didn't realise how draining stress could be. The last 2 years for me have been absolute hell in having to deal with shit that life threw at me, but I survived. I'll go on and each day will get better. Mainly because I have people that need me still. Many a day I would have loved nothing better than to have curled up into a ball and cried my eyes out, but couldn't. My motto was "Suck it up, Princess. There are people out there who have it worse off than you. You're alive and breathing, so just keep going." Not very original, but it worked for me.

Now I just have too much to live for. I have family. I have friends (Even if you are all spread out all around the globe). I have pets who love me unconditionally. Even better, I have a head full of ideas that are just waiting to be shared with you all.

Thursday, 18 May 2017

Why Is It?

Why is it... when I go onto the internet to do some research, I always end up looking at a shitload of abandoned houses and buildings? I just can't seem to help myself. I must admit that it hasn't helped that I've been watching Most Haunted on Netflix and they are usually set in abandoned and decrepit buildings. Honestly they just seem to fascinate me for some reason.

Why is it... when I have to spread the chook poo on the garden bed I keep putting it off? Same with changing of the light bulb (I know that one is because I have to go and get a ladder from my brother's place as I have fricken high ceilings.) but I have to get it done today before my sister turns up as the faulty bulb is in the spare room.

Why is it... When I think I have the whole house clean I find more stuff that needs to find a permanent home? I really need to just go through it and throw it away if it's trash, or donate it to charity if it has a chance of being rehoused. Sometimes I just keep crap for just in case I ever need it, and I never do.

Why is it... when I write out a shopping list and then go and do the groceries I always come home I've always forgotten something on the list and come home with a ton of stuff that wasn't on the list? It seems to happen to me every shopping day. So fricken annoying, as I'm trying to stick to the shopping list these days or else I never use things before the use by dates are well and truly up.

Friday, 12 May 2017

Today...

→ At 1am little Jaxon Walker was born 8lb 1oz, and seems to be doing well. I am helping for both Mum and bub. Lacey has always wanted to be a mum and now she finally is... and she'll be a fantastic mum at that. She's always spoiled her nieces and nephews rotten and they all love her two bits.

→ Emily moves out today. I'll miss her for a bit, but I sure will be glad to get all of her belongings out of my house. and get my place cleaned up. I love my daughter but she has way to much stuff to stay with us for any length of time.

→ Woke up this morning and it was the first time I actually had to reach for a jumper upon getting out of bed. And I have been sneezing ever since putting it on. So I'm assuming Willow (the cat) has managed to sneak into the cupboard and lay amongst my winter wear.

→ Went out shopping with Emily last night and picked up some essential for her new place... microwave, pots, dishes, kettle, toaster, chopping board, cooking utensils, glasses, etc... there were some things we forgot (bin and we still need to get a fridge, but we need to see what size fridge will fit in before we can buy one of those.

→ Once my house is back in order I'll be able to settle down and write again. It's hard to write while I live in utter chaos.

Thursday, 11 May 2017

Some Good News & Some Bad

Emily finally found a place of her own to move into. She picks up the keys on Friday, which means that I finally will be able to get my own house back to normal... and I can't wait.

My poor niece is still in the hospital and hasn't had her baby as yet. she got induced yesterday at 12ish... I'm waiting for baby pics.

Strangely I have a headache today, and I don't think it has anything to do with my migraines. I have a ache in my ear (I've suffered with sore ears for most of my life, so nothing new there). Today I woke up and I have like a heartbeat in my right eardrum. It's not exactly painful, just annoying.

I'm starting to get frustrated with life in general... not enough to do myself self harm or anything like that. I'm just frustrated that my life seems to be on hold while I wait for the justice system to release my funds to me. Why does it take so long for everything to get signed off on... But that's all I've got to say about that.

Centrelink is still taking their sweet time deciding whether or not to pay me the carer's payment for looking after my mum (who has been diagnosed with the start of dementia). It's been going on for  15 months now. I don't understand why they are fighting me so much. they prefer us not to put our family into homes for people to look after then, don't want to help us out, because I can't go out and work and leave mum home on her own as she has a tendency to panic... and thankfully we no longer have gas... once she left that one and I didn't know until I walked into the house, and thank fuck none of us were smokers. She couldn't smell it and didn't have a clue that she had done it... SCARY.

Wednesday, 10 May 2017

Cloudy With A Chance Of Rain

It's a quarter to 9am and it is sill really dark outside, but I bet the rain misses us. Or because I need to go out and finish in the garden later it will piss down with rain. (I'm taken one of our garden beds back to lawn━neither I, nor my brother want to look after it). I got most of the work done yesterday, but hurt my back on the last wheelbarrow load that I moved. Today I just have to flatten out the bed itself to make it level with the existing lawn. Then hopefully the grass will start growing over it in no time at all.

Emily is off to Toowoomba today, and I thought I'd spend the morning playing catch up on my computer while I have the chance... Hopefully by the time I'm done my back will be feeling a little better.

It really feels like a day where I should just curl up on the couch and snuggle in and read a book━by the way, in case your interested I'm currently reading Ally Blue's series: Bay City Paranormal Investigations... I'm also reading Alexis Morgan's series: Paladins of Darkness... these are two series I read quite often, and every time I do I find something that I missed.

I'll also have to take time out to catch up on the housework that I didn't do yesterday, but at least their isn't a lot of that. mainly just dusting and tidying up and folding up the washing. My mum thought she would be smart and put stuff on the seat of her recliner so that cat wouldn't jump up and lie on it while she wasn't their... Yeah, that so didn't work. Droogie just jumped up and pushed the stuff out of the way and mad himself right at home... Sadly to say Mum better think of something else. I don't know why he's taken a liking to her chair but he has.

Quite frankly, something else I could do today is sit here and think of new story ideas. this is the sort of weather that seems to generate the best ideas. The near darkness brings the creative juices to the forefront of the mind so to speak. But coming up with the ideas and actually transferring said ideas onto the page are two totally different things. I have a shitload of story ideas that will probably never see the light of day as I don't know how to translate what I see inside my mind, into the written word for you all to enjoy. Inside my head it makes perfect sense. On the page however it doesn't. Every now and again I reread through them all and toss the ones that I think aren't worth saving.

Tuesday, 9 May 2017

Justified Or Not ~ Words Hurt.

← I honestly have to believe that statement is true, because if I don't then I could possibly become very depressed with life. It has recently been pointed out to me that I share too much of my private life at the most inappropriate moments in time... so I'll have to work on that. Honestly I hardly go anywhere so I don't see that happening at all, but it must be true or else this person wouldn't have said it... and in case you're wondering, I do trust this person. They wouldn't have said it out of spite. Sometimes I just have no brain to mouth buffer.

→ Reviews I think are what hurt me the most, because people's opinions sometimes can be very scathing. I always figured even if you don't like the story you could always say it in a nice way instead of just ripping the author to shreds. You have to remember the author poured their hearts and souls into the stories they produce and it hurts to see the way people sometimes ruthlessly tear them apart. I've had some particularly bad ones in the past, so much so that I really hate to read my reviews. a few have brought me to tears. most just leave that big old ball of lead in the guts feeling, where you are sure that the reader didn't even understand what you were trying to say in your story... and if they couldn't get it, then how crap of a writer must I be? They worse ones are the ones that call my work sugary sweet, which is never my intention while writing a story.

→ Don't ask questions if you don't want the truth. Some people don't know how to soften the bluntness. I am one of those people. I'm also one of those where if I ask a question I expect the truth and not some convoluted version of the truth. I don't get hints. So it's best to tell me straight out what you mean.

→ I'm not the sort of person who will sulk about things for days, or weeks on end. because that's just not me. I'll go away and think about it for a day or two and figure out how to make myself a better person, or a better writer. I don't think I can please 100% of the people/readers 100% of the time, because if I could it would be a miracle. Just know that when I do return I will be stronger for having done so.

Monday, 8 May 2017

What's The Story?

I've not been getting much sleep lately. I keep having this niggling of a story idea in the back of my head. It must be a new one that's not quite ready to show itself just yet... I can tell you it's going to drive me nuts until it does... But here the gist of what I have so far.

→ There's this guy. I think he might be a soldier, because he seems to be away from home a lot and people are afraid of him... but he has two kids (not sure on ages yet). 

→ I don't know what happened to his wife, but she is no longer in the picture... she may have died, or she may have run off with someone else.

→ The guy is due to come home again and the adults in the house all take off this is mainly the sister and her friends. One of the sisters friends turns up late for the party/gathering after everyone else has taken off and the Nanny/house keeper quits.

→ This friend finds himself stuck at the house looking after the two kids... the sister refuses to come back and the guy gets delayed for some reason... they friend is supposed to hire a new nanny, but instead takes the job himself, as he can do his day job from anywhere.

→ This friend finds he likes the kids and they aren't the pains in the arse everyone made them out to be. I want to say he's there for almost a year looking after them before the guy finally makes it home for good.

→ The kids don't want the friend to leave because they don't know how to relate to the dad who also doesn't know how to relate to them either so the friend is like a barrier/buffer for them. The friend is also the bridge between the guy and the rest of his family.

→ When some crazy shit follows the guy home from the war they have to band together to keep their world and new found family from falling apart. Through the ups and down they have to learn to rely on each other and the kids for the world to make sense again.

Does that sound like a good story?

Sunday, 7 May 2017

Seriously...

Some days I definitely need a do over. You guessed it today's post is basically just going to be one big rant, so please bear with me... I say to the kiddo (who is 27) we are going to clean the house today. So she takes off to go swimming. Isn't that always the way, but at least this time she took her own car.

So now I'm cleaning the house all by myself, so I'm doing it slowly, because if I rush I'll only succeed in wearing myself out and making myself cranking, or giving myself a headache... and that's definitely something I want to avoid at all costs.

I'm also doing a little rearranging around the place. though I took a break to make a cuppa, while I did a quick blog post to let you all know what I'm up to. Not Much else is really happening around the house. I have to buy some more shelving for the kitchen and have some doors made, but I want my brother to organise them so that I don't stuff them up and order the wrong things.

I started the day off by vacuuming the whole house and was pissed to find that the kiddo hadn't emptied the vacuum from the last time she did it. That is one of my pet peeves. I always like to have the vacuum emptied after every use, then it is clean and ready for the next run through. How hard is that to understand.

I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave and it would instantly finish setting up mu house exactly the way i want it to be. where nothing is out of place... and there isn't excess amounts of shit everywhere for me to trip over. I like to look under beds and see nothing. I'm tired of the clutter. Okay my rant is now over... and thank you all for listening to me.

Saturday, 6 May 2017

I'm Having One Of Those Days...

I get the feeling that I've forgotten to do something important, and for the life of me I can't remember what it is. It's been gnawing at my brain all morning and I still can't figure out what the hell it is━it's so damn frustrating... and when I do finally think of it... it probably won't have been important at all.

It's kind of a dreary day today. it's not overcast, but it's not exactly bright and summery either... or maybe I'm just in a shitty mood because this bout of Ross River seems to be hanging around. I hate being sick... especially when there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

I know... I know... I'm bitching, but sometimes it happens and this is my blog so I feel like I get to have a free say here at least. Speaking of bitching who knew one 16 year old cat could be such a bed hog. he sleep right down the centre of the bed and I end up curled across the top against the pillows. Droogie thinks he's the bloody king of the castle... could be worse I suppose... Willow could want to sleep in there as well.

Tonight I'm thinking about attempting to cook meatloaf... well, my interpretation of it. I haven't actually cooked one in years, so I hope it works... Or Maybe I'll make meatballs instead. I might have better success with those. I can serve them with rice and greens. Mind you it is only 1 pm and by the time dinner rolls around I could have changed my mind a million times over.

Now you know what I mean when I say, "I'M HAVING ONE OF THOSE DAYS."

Friday, 5 May 2017

Let's Play Catch Up

Seriously, sometimes I think that my life is never meat to run smoothly. Even after we've been to court and even though I think my ex-husband got the better deal, his lawyers is still dicking around and drawing thongs out. I just want the shit to be over and done with so that I can move on with the next part of my life, and I can't do that with this last bit hanging over my head.

I still haven't finished Moon Runners 2: I Won't Let You Go as I've had a savage bout of Ross River Fever that has knocked me on my arse for a bit.. Okay truthfully, it's just made me all achy and head-achy and I don't mean migraines I feel like my brain is shaking apart.

The weather here still doesn't know whether or not it wants to be cold or hot. Mind you that could just be me. I was doing the grocery shop today, and most people were in jumpers and I'm walking around in a singlet.

Willow seems to be doing okay after her dental surgery. At least it hasn't put her off her tucker. she has found a new favourite food━wheat biscuits(I mix them up with warm water and a little bit of milk... that way they are soft on her sore mouth).

Emily is looking for a place to live. she has been staying with Mum and I for the last couple of weeks, but she needs to be out on her own. She has a job interview on Monday at 4:30 pm so fingers crossed it all goes well for her. she feels cramped in our spare room as there really isn't enough space for her here.

I have been coffee and Coke Zero free for 32 days. I thought I would miss it, but I really haven't craved either. I found it harder to cut back on the salt. Not that I actually use a lot of salt in my cooking, but when you cut back you sure can tell.